Throughout my life I have experienced death multiple times. My experiences however, were limited to great aunts or uncles I barely knew and grandparents who had been suffering. Whenever death has occurred in my life I have seen it coming. With my grandparents, although I really loved them, part of me was happy when they passed away because their suffering had finally ended.
Recently, I received news that a person in my life was involved in a terrible accident and may not make it. It has been really hard for me to comprehend my feelings. She is an amazing person and I have really enjoyed the time I have spent with her but when I received the news I just went numb. I wanted to cry for her like everyone else but I just couldn't understand that this was actually happening. I had just seen her a couple of days ago so I just couldn't think of her as anything but happy and healthy. At first I wasn't that upset by the news because in my mind she was going to be okay and soon I'd get to go visit her in the hospital. As I heard more people talking about it I started to realize how real the possibility was that she may not make it through this.
Talking about the incident makes it hard for me to put on a brave face and fight back the tears. Never before has something this unexpected happened and never to someone so young. Thinking about it makes me mad and regretful. I know there is nothing that could have been done differently, in hindsight you think of all the ways it could have been prevented but in actuality bad things happen and there's no way of stopping it. What is done is done and now all I can do is think positive thoughts and hope that she will make it out of this okay. If however things get worse, I will be prepared for that too. None of this is fair and nothing like this ever should have happened but it did. As wonderful of a person she is, I cannot stop terrible things from happening. All I hope is her family will be able to get through this difficult time and that by some miracle she can go on to live a long happy life.
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