My New Beginning Starts Today

It's strange to feel this way. I haven't seen you in a while and I don't even think of you that much. It's been a week since you broke up with me and I can honestly say I'm doing okay. It's only when I go to certain places that I get sad.

Currently, I can't handle the breakwater, downtown, the park near your house, the beach, and the mountain.

Tonight I went to the breakwater with a friend and I kept looking around for you. For some reason since we went there together once I expected to see you, but of course, I knew you weren't going to be there. I realized tonight how strange it feels to walk around with someone without holding hands. It became like second nature to me that something felt missing every time I took a step. Although you weren't with me, it felt like you were because the memories from that day are still so clear.

I fully accept how things turned out. Sometimes I think about you coming back into my life but I know you never will. I know I can't go back but I won't make the same mistakes twice. In the moment I was so scared of getting close and I wasn't sure I could trust you yet. Looking back I should have just went for it and not held back. Next time when I'm with a guy I like as much as I liked you, I'll be sure to show it.

Now that it's over, all I think about is what I missed out on by holding back. Every opportunity I missed to kiss you. All the times I moved way because I was afraid of being too close. The only regrets I have about you are the things I didn't do.

I don't care if you still think of me but I hope you remember me in a good light. Because even if I was cold and I constantly pushed you away, I really did like you.