New Years New Resolution

I know there are many people who think new year's resolutions are stupid. Recently I even read an article ranting about how you shouldn't kiss on new years eve. I personally disagree because I love the stupid new year's traditions like resolutions and midnight kisses. I mean people are always going to hate things so there's no reason to let them ruin your fun.

This year my resolutions fit into two categories: be healthier and do better in school. I put my resolutions in categories because I think it's more achievable to set small goals that contribute to a larger goal.

When it comes to being healthier, one of the things I am going to do is start doing at home workouts again. I also want to cut pop out of my diet as I've already stopped myself from wanting chips so I'm moving on to pop now. They are not huge changes so I think they are manageable. I also have the fact that I'm apart from my boyfriend to keep me motivated so I can have an amazing body when he comes back (side note: this is my personal opinion, he loves me as I am, I just want to be the best I can be).

When it comes to doing better in school, I'm basically just going to start doing things I should have been doing since the beginning. I will do my readings for all my classes, hopefully before the classes but at least before the tests. I will create special study notes throughout the semester instead of leaving it to the week before the exam. I will do any practice problems I get. Lastly, I will do school work for at least ten hours every week. I barely got through last semester so I want to prove to myself that I do belong in university and I can get good grades if I put in the effort.

What is First Love?

Throughout my life, I've always tried to define one word, love. It's so mysterious to me because love can be felt in so many different ways. When I looked up the definition one that came up was, love is a person or thing one loves. No wonder it confuses me because even love can't be defined without using the word love.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot and I've been wondering who my first love was. If first love is the first person you have strong feelings of affection for, it would be my 4th-grade crush. If first love is the first person who also feels those strong feelings for you, it would be my first boyfriend. If first love is the first person you know you are in love with, it would be my current boyfriend.

I suppose there is no real reason I need to figure out who my first love was. It's just that as I get older and gain more experience, I'm learning more and more about what love is. I feel like some people don't even have to question what love is but I always have.

After thinking about it for a while I settled on an answer that makes sense to me. My first love was my first boyfriend because even though I wasn't in love with him, I did love him. I can't count any of my crushes as love because I don't think unrequited love is the same as requited love. I also can't call my current boyfriend my first love even though he's the first guy I've been in love with because that would be completely ignoring the feelings I had for my first boyfriend and how hard it was more me to get over them. I know it may seem weird that I consider loving someone and being in love with someone as completely different things but, to me, they are. I think first love is kind of open to interpretation but that's how I see it.