Relationships and Why They Aren't That Important

When I was a kid I used to dream about being a teenager. I used to act out my teenage dreams with my dolls where the doll representing me would drive around in her pink convertible and spend all her time shopping with her friends. One thing, in particular, I used to dream about, was having a boyfriend. I guess I was a weird kid who was always interested in boys because I remember crushes as far back as kindergarten. When I entered my teenage years I began to question myself because I didn't have a boyfriend. It wasn't even because everyone else had boyfriends because they didn't, it was just something inside me that told me I needed to have a boyfriend or else I was a loser.

When I was fifteen I achieved my goal of having a boyfriend only to find out that romantic movies and love songs had lied to me. Relationships were not all fun and romantic, they were serious work, at fifteen I couldn't understand this so I ended it.

I have a lot of mixed feelings about that relationship and that guy, I try not to think about it because it really confuses me. So far that guy has been the only boyfriend I've had. It's been over a year since we broke up and honestly sometimes I feel like shit because I haven't had another relationship yet. It gets to the point where I begin to think of relationships as a competition and my secret competitive side starts coming out and trying to force me into relationships that just aren't going to happen.

Now here I am still boyfriend-less but a lot wiser about relationships in general. I have realized that having a boyfriend doesn't determine my worth. I'm learning to be happy single and working towards stuff in my life that I wouldn't have time for if I had a boyfriend. I know that I'll meet another guy one day and a relationship will happen for me again so I'm not rushing it. Don't rush, force, or rely on relationships because sadly most are quite temporary. Focus on yourself and doing the stuff you want to do. A relationship will happen eventually and until you meet the right person, having one doesn't matter at all. Think about it this way, would you rather be continuously dating people you sort of like or wait for a person who you will be crazy about no matter how long the wait is? Honestly, I'm up for the wait because I know the person I end up with is worth it.

I don't know why I added this picture but it looked cute :3