Before I said I was going to join a class that a certain guy was in because I didn't want to do my online course. I even told my mom and my friends I was going to do it which means I was serious about it. I went to the counselor's office and I asked to join that class. Although it made me really nervous to do this, I managed to work up my courage... only to find out the class was full. From there I had two choices: continue my online course or ask the teacher if he would let me join.
Now I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before but I strongly believe that there is a reason everything turns out the way it does. When I heard the class was full, my gut feeling told me I shouldn't push it further. Not only would talking to the teacher make me incredibly nervous but I was also nervous of what the guy would think of me going to such measures to join his class and it felt kind of creepy to me. In the end, I decided that joining the class wasn't meant to be and I gave up.
I'm still kind of sad that I lost the opportunity to rebuild my relationship with that guy but life seems to be telling me it's not the right time. Although I do see him once every two weeks in the mandatory grade twelve course, it just doesn't seem like we are going to get any closer. Even after two years has passed nothing has changed. We are just as awkward as we were when we first broke up.
I guess the time has come to finally let go once and for all...
I'm sorry I couldn't fix my past mistakes.
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