Maybe What She Told Me Was True

Some people can't be alone. Some people can be alone. I'm alone all the time but I can't stand it. I can't stand being lonely and I absolutely hate being single. For all of my life, I've had a crush on someone. Although I'm not the type to go from boyfriend to boyfriend, I always have a crush. In grade eleven I had no crush for the first time so I began to convince myself that I was in love with my ex. I've been in this state ever since. There are no guys at my school that I'm interested in so I cling onto the one I used to have. Even if deep down I know if he actually showed interest in me I wouldn't want him. I understand fully that he's not the one for me yet I hang on because I worry there will be no one else. It's been over two years, what's so wrong with me that no one else would like me? Why isn't there someone for me?

I told this to my best friend some time ago. She told me that I shouldn't worry about things like that. The guy who I want and wants me, he exists, I just haven't come across him yet. He could go to a different school or live in a different country. He could be someone I walked by on the street or someone I will bump into on the street later on. I could meet him in my university class or he could be the waiter at a new restaurant my friends make me try. He could be the guy I never noticed in class or the one I never knew had feelings for me. He could be the guy I meet at the airport when both our flights get delayed or he could be the guy I meet in a club downtown. The possibilities of where I could meet him or when he will come in my life are endless and it's kind of exciting. I'll never know when he'll show up but it makes me happy thinking of when he will.