Not to have a big head, but I tend to find great guys to date. No one is without their flaws but I tend to go for the type of guys who are nice, smart, and will never hurt you. Also known as "safe" guys. The only problem with safe guys is that they require a lot of attention and commitment, that doesn't work so well for me. Anytime a relationship has gotten too serious I usually freak out and search for a reason to break up.
To me, there is a difference between a committed relationship and a serious relationship. A committed relationship is simply when two people decide to only be with each other and not see anyone else. I cannot be in a relationship that is not committed. However, a serious relationship is one that is going somewhere. In a serious relationship, you are merely in the first stage on track to forever. You make plans far into the future, you settle down, spend your weekends gardening, you seriously think about getting married, you spend evenings discussing baby names, etc. I'm not sure if it's the commitment-phobe in me or the fact that I'm twenty years old but I don't want a serious relationship right now.
I love my boyfriend, but I'm worried we are getting into serious territory. Although our age difference is small, we are at different stages in life. He likes to talk about future plans, trips we'll go on, spending forever together, and it scares me. This is the problem because I want all of those serious commitment things but just not anytime soon. I want to think of our relationship without a timeline, no future plans, no promises. Just whatever happens happens. In short, I just want to have fun and live life freely. I don't know how to communicate my feelings though because I feel like whenever I try to explain it, it sounds like I don't want a relationship at all. I want the commitment, I don't like worrying what I mean to someone, but I don't want to feel like I'm chained down.
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