I know eighteen is a young age. Not understanding love at this age is normal. I know many people who have never had a relationship by this time and I also know people who have. To anyone older than me this is probably a silly question, you would probably tell me that I would understand love better when I am older and that I shouldn't worry about it. But I do. There is this part of me that truly believes I'm incapable of falling in love.
Without realizing it there has been a change as I've grown up. When I was younger I was full of love. Even when I obviously had no chance I carried on with crushes for years at a time. If he showed attention to another girl I'd be sad for a day then fall for him all over again the next day. I don't have that kind of dedication anymore.
I haven't had a serious crush on a guy in around three years. The last guy was someone who I could honestly see myself falling in love with. However, when things didn't turn out how I wanted them to, I wasn't upset. I simply picked myself up and moved on. I used to flip flop a lot about my feelings for my ex even though I knew for a fact I didn't love him however when it came to the guy I actually could have fallen in love with, once it was over, I never flip flopped.
When it comes to new guys there have been a couple of quick crushes but none lasted more than a week. It seems to be that I fall for a guy quickly but lose interest quickly as well. Recently there was a guy I met that I really liked and it seemed like things would work out differently but they didn't. I'm really starting to worry that I won't ever fall in love.
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