I wonder what my love of the sky says about me as a person?
The way I stay inside all day,
yet dream of the sun and the moon.
How nothing makes me more happy than looking at the stars,
and no matter how bad I feel, the sunset always calms me.
My mood goes up and down according to the colour of the sky.
When it's bright, I'm bright.
When it's dark, I'm dark.
Rainbows are my magic,
and shooting stars are my wishes.
Even when everything is going wrong,
I remember that the sky isn't always perfect either.
It, like I, changes throughout time.
Sometimes it shows the sunshine for the majority of the day,
sometimes it doesn't let the sun out at all.
Clouds and rain rule the day,
yet the sun will always come back.
Whenever I'm upset, or confused, or lack understanding of the world,
I look up at the sky.
Even if I don't have all the answers or things aren't going right,
the sky is always there for me.
Looking up at its beauty,
it assures me inside that everything will be alright.

What I Learnt From my First University Semester

1. High school and University are completely different, try to adjust fast. If you are having trouble don't get too upset about it and just give yourself a break because it is a huge change.

2. Most syllabuses are online now since professors don't want to waste paper so don't worry about losing one if you are given a paper copy. Write down any dates that are on there but depending on the class the syllabus could be extremely helpful or just very basic, so try to add your own deadlines for homework or studying so that you don't fall behind.

3. The textbook requirements don't change much in the last couple of weeks before classes start. You can wait until you attend the first couple of classes or you can buy them early. It really doesn't matter. However, lines at the bookstore are insane for the first week so be prepared to deal with that if you do wait.

4. Take a variety of classes at a variety of times. People say early classes are horrible but it may be different for you so try to figure out what's best. Personally, I've found that I can't do labs in the mornings because I'm too tired but I can follow along in early morning lectures since they are less involved. I've also found that I can't do lectures in late afternoon since I get really tired by the end of the day so I can't stand sitting and listening to someone talk for an hour or more but I can do labs around that time since it gives me a chance to move around after a whole day of sitting.

5. Space out your classes. Although it sucks to be at school for a long time, if you are like me and have trouble focusing at home, it's good to have that time between classes to study. It also gives you time to eat or hang out with friends.

6. No one cares if you eat/walk/study alone. Don't feel like a loser if you've had trouble making friends. University is about your education first and foremost so don't worry if your social life isn't great. Generally, most people are too busy studying to have a social life so don't feel like your the weird one for staying home all the time to do work.

7. If you do go to parties and drink, know your limit. Don't drink a lot just because other people are. Go easy the first couple of times until you figure out what your tolerance is. Getting black out drunk all the time isn't a good thing to do, just drink until you feel kinda drunk and stop there. Drink an enjoyable amount, not so much that you regret drinking in the first place.

8. University is not about going to parties, dating, or having a great social life; those are just bonuses you may or may not experience. It's for education. If you just want to have fun, don't go.

9. Although university can be a lot of hard work, remember to schedule in time to do things you want to do. Go for drives late at night, hang out with your friends, sit around watching movies all Sunday, practice your hobbies, etc. If you only focus on studying you are going to crash and burn really quickly. Stress is crazy in university so de-stressing is extremely important.

In the end, going to university isn't for everyone, it requires excellent balancing skills. Everyones' experience is different so just do things the way you want to. Take it easy at first and figure out how it all works, don't go crazy and take a bunch of classes right away or you'll regret it. Overall try to have a good time and get good marks.

Back to School

I had my first day of my second semester today. It's weird for me to be starting new classes in January since I've always been on a linear system but I'm adjusting. Overall things are okay, I'm kinda lonely but it's only the first day so I'm sure it'll get better.

The only bad things about today were just bad things about morning classes. My first class was at 8:30 am so I had to wake up at 7 am. I had trouble sleeping last night so I've been functioning on less than four hours of sleep. I really wanna take a nap but I know if I do I'll just mess up my sleeping pattern even more so I'm forcing myself to stay awake. The other bad thing was that I had to leave for my class so early that the sun wasn't even up yet. That's more of a bad thing about winter but it was still annoying for me that I had to leave when it was still dark out.

Wow, this post was fascinating... I guess that's what happens when you try to write a blog post when you're half asleep. Sorry, I just wanted to update since not much is happening lately.

New Year

This year I've held a lot of regrets but I'd like to make things better from now on.

Firstly, today is the last day I will ever think of my ex in a romantic way. I've been over him for a while now, but there are still times now and again that I think about him but I vow to stop that completely in 2016. There's no point since there's no way we will ever get back together and I honestly don't even think I want to get back together with him. I'm just lonely.

Secondly, I will take my university schooling seriously. Last semester I underestimated university and found it next to impossible to make myself study. After seeing how quickly the term goes by, I think I'm capable of committing myself completely to my course work next term. The problem was that I'm used to a linear system where I have a year to complete my course instead of semester system where you only have a couple of months, because of this I always thought I had more time than I actually had. However, I vow to do better from now on because I know I'm capable of more than this.

Thirdly, I will pay attention to my health. Generally, I have a good immune system so I don't get sick often but I still wouldn't call myself healthy. In the new year, I'd like to work out at least once a week and I want to stop skipping meals. When I'm at the university for classes, I feel weird about bringing food from home to eat and I don't have enough money to buy food every day so I tend to skip eating. I know this is terrible for my health so I'd like to stop it.

Lastly, I will find a reason to be happy. Whether it's hanging out with friends more or going on walks to watch the sunset, I need to find some way for me to be happy. This year I haven't felt sad but I haven't felt happy either, I felt more like I was numb. Happiness is so important and I would like to experience it again.

Lesson Learnt: Allergic Reaction

Frequently I will use sheet masks for my skin. Usually, the ones I use are either from forever 21 or a local pharmacy. Despite the fact that I use cheap ones, I've never had a problem before. Today I tried a new mask that I bought at Walmart and the results weren't so nice. In case you are curious, it's the freeman feeling beautiful mask for dry skin. I wouldn't recommend it though, especially if you have sensitive skin.

Near the end of the time I had the mask on, my face began to feel hot but I didn't realize anything was wrong until after I took off the mask and my face completely burnt up. When it didn't go away after a few moments I looked in the mirror and it looked as thought I had a sunburn. Currently, my face is hot to touch and red. It's only been a couple of minutes so I'm not too worried, I'm sure the allergic reaction will go away.

What I have learned from this experience is to be more careful with the products I use. I'm well aware of my sensitive, dry skin but I haven't had any issues with it in a long time. Today came as a warning to me that I still need to be careful about the products I use.

In case you get worried about my allergic reaction, I'm handling it fine. If it gets worse or doesn't go away I will go see the doctor.

Here's a lobster because I currently look like one

How I'm Going to Make Myself Happy

Maybe it's because it's exam session or maybe it's the lack of direction I have but I haven't been feeling happy with my life lately. I've been putting a lot of stress on myself to get the required grades to be considered for a biology co-op however since I'm mainly doing required courses this year (ie not biology) it's been quite hard for me to do well. I have also been questioning my decision to do science since I've been missing writing.

Today after having a bit of a breakdown I figured out how to make myself happy. It turns out that I don't have to make a choice between science and writing. After a bit of researching, I figured out my university offers a minor in professional writing that I can do along side my biology major. I'm feeling great right now since this seems to be exactly the kind of thing I want to do with my education. Doing all biology or all writing isn't something I want to do but now that I figured out I can do both, I think I'm on my way to becoming happy with the direction my life is in.

Stupid Body Insecurities

When I was younger I praised myself on the fact that I never put down my body. While other people were complaining about the stupidest little imperfections, I promised myself I never would. I'm sad to say that I broke that promise.

I'm not sure when the first time I did it was, but I started to put down my body. I started to spend more time in front of the mirror than I ever had before inspecting my body to see if my stomach was flat yet or if my thighs looked smaller. After realizing I had started to gain weight those insecurities got worse. It was then that I decided that I needed to start working out and being more careful about what I ate since I ate quite a bit of junk food. I'm back to a weight I'm happy with but I'm still not completely happy with my body.

Have you ever done worn something that slightly shows off your insecurity then spent the whole day trying to hid it? I have. I wore a shirt that was tight on me so my stomach stuck out a bit. I spent the whole day trying to suck in my stomach and hide it. I'm pretty sure no one would have noticed my stomach stuck out a bit if I was more confident in myself but I'm sure I looked weird trying to hide it all day.

Let's face it. No one else notices these body "imperfections" except you. In your mind, you probably think everyone is thinking about it when they look at you but they aren't. I had the right idea when I was younger because there is never any reason to put down your body. Unless you work out all the time and follow a really healthy diet, you probably won't ever have a "perfect" body but that's okay. Even people with those "perfect" bodies still have insecurities about themselves. Although there is nothing wrong with working out or dieting, just remember that you won't magically become happy because you lose weight. You only become happy with your body when you accept it as it is and stop letting those stupid little things make you feel like your body isn't good.