Basically, I've had a crappy day. I woke up super early feeling sick to my stomach and some gross stuff happened. I stayed home from school and spent the day barely moving, in the dark, and with very little technology because of my on and off headache.
In the evening I got a call from my best friend which was really nice. I tried not to tell her I was sick because she's having a birthday party soon and I didn't want her to worry but I knew my voice was going to give it away so I ended up telling her anyway. Now I have a lot riding on how I feel in the morning.
The reason why the subject of this post is me putting others ahead of myself is that no matter how I feel tomorrow I will be going to that party because I know my best friend really wants me there. It's always been like this for me. I will easily skip out on things that only affect me but when it involves other people I will sort of bend to their will regardless of how I feel. So if I'm sick and I already made plans to do something with someone I'm doing that thing I made plans to do no matter what. This also has to do with me having no backbone. I mean I'm not going to undermine my values but if someone wants to see a movie I don't really want to see I'll go along with it just because I can't say no to them. This tortures me sometimes but overall it's not that bad of a thing because at least it makes other people happy.
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