A Boy Filled Day

Okay strange title but let me explain. Today I was coming back from a trip to Washington and I had to take a boat on the way home. While waiting to get on the boat, I went to the food stand with my mom and there was this group of cute guys there. A recognized two of the guys but I only sort of knew them so I didn't say anything to them. When we actually got on the boat I saw a lot of other guys. It was one of those moments you wish for, I was practically the only teenage girl on a boat with a bunch of teenage guys. There were quite a few who were classmates of mine from school which I found weird that they were going to a different country without any parents. Although the strangest part was that on the boat there and on the boat back I saw this guy who I sat next to in chemistry class. It was really weird to me that we took like the exact same trip at the exact same time.

Despite being on the boat of dreams, I didn't talk to any of the guys. The closest I ever got to a moment was when my mom stopped to tie her shoelace and a guy sitting near us looked at me and smiled. Or when I was walking down the hall and a guy checked me out. It's not like I expected a guy to just come up to me and start chatting...well that is the dream but realistically I didn't think it would happen. I tried not to beat myself up over the lost opportunities.

I got home feeling exhausted and ready to take a nap. I was texting my best friend when I suddenly got a text from someone else, I assumed it was my dad but it was someone else. You could say it was 'ex'actly who I didn't think it would be. Was that obvious enough? Hopefully. But yeah he texted me and although nothing really came of our conversation, it was very strange and out of nowhere. Although I'm glad for once it's not me texting him crazily out of the blue.

I let my mind run wild for a bit but I've calmed down and gotten back to reality. So yeah this post just turned into teenage girl chatter about cute boys. Hopefully that's what you came for...

To Do This Summer

Every year my summer is the same. I get super excited at the beginning and I imagine doing all this cool stuff but as time goes on I find that all I really do is sit around and watch a lot of TV shows. By the end, I just really hate how boring summer is. This year, however, I want things to be different. So to fulfill this goal I've made a list of things I want to do.

1. Go to the beach at least 3 times

2. Re-read the Gone series so I can finally read the last book

3. Take lots of pictures

4. Hang out with at least 3 different friends

5. Get a solid start on my online physics course

6. Create a good cover art

7. Take my dog on frequent walks when it's not too warm

8. Have lots of lemonade/slushies/ice cream/screamers

9. See my favorite band in concert for the first time

10. Temporarily dye my hair blue when my current blue streaks fade near the end of summer

I could probably think of a lot more things to do but I'll stop at 10. This list is pretty tailored for me but I encourage everyone to make their own summer to-do-list so that we can all embrace summer! 

I Organized My Blog!!!

I started this blog not knowing anything about blogs so obviously, it looked very beginner and awful. I've been looking at how cool other people's blogs were and I've been really annoyed that I couldn't figure out how to do what they did. But as I have an important exam tomorrow I thought tonight was finally the right time to figure it out (I'm an idiot).

However, I can announce that my blog is looking beautiful now. I changed the colours to be very light and pretty like summer and I've added links! Now all my posts are organized! I have three different headings: life, love, and food. Basically what an average teenager's life consists of. So yes super happy to have that all sorted out, all I can say about the whole thing is google is your best friend. There are lots of helpful pages.

But yeah I really need to go to sleep so I'm all awake and stuff for my exam...

*update it's April 2017 and currently I'm going through and fixing the blog again, just some editing, formatting, and fixing some of the pictures that disappeared 

Nightmares

Typically I'm a person that rarely dreams and I haven't had a nightmare in years. Usually, the only time I have nightmares is after I watch a scary movie like when I watched the first 10 minutes of a Hannibal movie when I was nine years old and I had recurring nightmares for months. As I've gotten older they've just gone away. However, I woke up this morning at 8:30 am afraid to go back to sleep because of how real my nightmare was. I literally woke up short of breath and utterly terrified to my core.

The nightmare was that I was in a depressed state and I wondered off by myself. I ended up going to this place where teenagers frequently went to do "bad things" however I was there quite early so barely anyone was around. I just hung out there for a bit until it got later and I left while a whole bunch of teenagers were heading over there. I ended up waiting to cross a busy road with some other people who were leaving as well. All of a sudden an ambulance pulls up and we run over to it hoping to get a ride or something. Then a police car and a whole bunch of emergency vehicles drive up. The paramedic tells us that there is a massive bear mauling going on right where I was a few minutes ago. I then hear the horribly realistic sounds of a bear rampage. I run off with the other people in my group and end up running toward the ocean. The dream ended when I climbed through the window of my old house.

I'm not sure if it sounds as scary as it was but I really felt like I was there. I felt like there really was a bear nearby that was killing tons of people and could come after me. I was very relieved when I woke up. I'm sure other people get this too but whenever I dream they are incredibly real and it shocks me when I wake up in my normal life.

I Cooked Quinoa....

I was at the grocery store yesterday and decided to pick up some quinoa since I had heard how healthy and awesome it was. I was really excited about it and decided to make some for breakfast today. I found some good tips online and cooked it to their directions. Afterward, it came out looking pretty good. I put some strawberries in it which resulted in this....

(real picture this time)

I thought it looked pretty good so I started eating it. At first, it was pretty good but by my third spoonful, I decided that it tasted awful and I needed to go spit it out. I'm not sure what went wrong but I have a suspicion that I undercooked it since it wasn't very light or fluffy. It tasted a lot like weird seeds which I guess that's what it is but I didn't enjoy it.

Overall it was a big fail...like everything I try to cook.

Trying to be Productive

For the first time ever I have a busy summer ahead of me. Usually, I spend two months doing almost nothing. I could list off all the stuff I have to do this summer but that would just be boring and pointless so here's the important stuff. I have to try and be productive. This is actually a very tricky thing in the summer because I have to self-manage myself. I don't have a set schedule like school so it's easier to slack off.

For instance today I've dedicated the whole day to finishing the course I'm doing which is more than enough time to do it. I worked good and hard for about an hour and got to be 3/4 of the way done but then I got trapped in a pit of procrastination that I've yet to climb out of. See my course shows me how many pages I have to do for each chapter and when I opened up the last chapter it told me I had over 20 pages to do which is way more than the other chapters. I got intimidated by this and decided to take a break which seems to be endless now. Even though I have nothing else to do, I just can't make myself work on the course. I'd honestly rather sit in my room doing nothing in complete silence than finish it. It's awful because I know I have to do it at some point but I'm just not in the mood to be productive so I just won't do it. Why do I make things so hard for myself????

creds to Chibird, her art is really cute

It's Over

School is finally over!!!! 

Where I live there's this big teacher strike going on and it was super annoying up until the point where it caused our exams to be canceled. Now we are off school and didn't have to deal the stress of exams. It's the best thing ever. I had an awesome day today since all we did in class was hang out then we got our yearbooks. I didn't get a ton of signatures but I got my friends to sign it so that's good enough for me. I also saw a friend today I hadn't seen in like a month which was nice and I hope to catch up with him this summer.

This summer is gonna be awesome. I'm going away for two weeks soon and then at the end of the summer I get to see my favorite band in concert for the first time! So far I couldn't be more thrilled that school is over. Although I need to do a quick course and work on an online class I'm starting soon but that won't ruin my summer.

What I Want is True Love

I'm a girl who grew up on fairy tales. I taught myself everything I know about love from romantic movies, love songs, and stories in which the guy and girl always fall in love in the end.

I grew up to realize everything I knew about love was a lie. There will never be a prince who will come sweep me off my feet. The thing is, I don't even want a prince. If I met a fairy tale guy I'd get bored of him in like a month.

I want real, honest love. I want to know all the weird things about someone and I want someone to know all the weird things about me. I want someone who isn't perfect and knows I'm not perfect either. Sometimes we'll get angry and end up in huge fights but we'll never lose sight of each other and why we got together in the first place.

It seems like so many people nowadays either forget why they love each other or how to love each other. I know that some people aren't right for each other, I get that but I think that if they weren't right for each other then they shouldn't have gotten together at all. I strongly believe in intuition and that you will get a feeling if it isn't right for you. I'm assuming other people feel that as well but they ignore it because who they are with seems right or the relationship is livable or they just don't want to be alone. I think it's stupid to think that way. It's just like people who are too focused on the criteria of the person instead of who they actually are.

When I met the right guy I won't care what he looks like or what he has or how much money he makes, as long as I feel that connection to him and he feels the connection to me then nothing else matters. Maybe this is my hopeless romantic side coming out but I truly believe this. I know relationships aren't easy but when I met someone I connect to and love more than anything else in the world, I'll do anything to keep that feeling alive. Maybe I'm naive to believe in that sort of fairy tale love but my right guy will believe it too so it really doesn't matter if people think I'm crazy to think this way.

Productivity

I've missed way more school than usual from being sick. Usually, I only take one day off but this time I took three days off. With the annoying stuff going on with the government and school district I may end up with more days off which means a lot more homework and studying to do. I cannot tell you how glad I will be to be out of the public school system once next year is over.

Anyway because of all that I have begun to force myself into productivity. I'm by nature a huge procrastinator who is easily distracted so it's really hard for me to sit still and focus on one thing. However, today I've been doing pretty good. Although I've taken more breaks than I needed to, I'm half done my homework for today. The first half took me about an hour and the next half will probably take the same amount of time. Honestly, it doesn't take me that long to get stuff done once I start doing it. If I'm really procrastinating I will make myself a strict schedule including literally everything I will do that day which works extremely well but I can't do that often because that sort of strict structure causes me a lot of stress and emotional instability so it's a last resort for me. But yes I've been doing good today which is good since my exams are in two weeks and I'm honestly terrified of them.