Timing Is Bullsh*t

I remember being fifteen years old and experiencing my first heartbreak. I had said goodbye to a boyfriend I still really liked because I knew we weren't working at that point in time. I reassured myself that if we were meant to be we would be. He had told me that maybe we'd meet again later in life. I held out hope that our timing had been wrong and we'd get it right the next time. Later I learnt that the timing was exactly what it was supposed to be.

I don't believe that the timing of things is ever wrong. Some people like to complain that they met people at the wrong times and that if only the timing had been right, it would have worked. I used to be one of those people who liked to blame things on timing. As I've gotten older and experienced more of what time has shown me, I've learnt that it's never wrong.

When I was nineteen I had a summer fling. I was smitten with the guy and hoped the relationship would become something more but it never did. He broke up with me after a month and in order to "one up" him, I started searching for new guys right away. Little did I know how perfect the timing of that break up was but when it happened I wished he hadn't given up on us so early.

One week after being broken up with I met who I currently call the love of my life. As I met him and got to know him I became thankful for the timing of my previous relationship because had it not happened exactly the way it did, I wouldn't have met him. Our circumstances weren't great since we lived on opposite sides of the country. In the beginning, I was just gonna call our meeting bad timing but it was exactly the right timing. We pulled towards each other despite all the obstacles saying the timing was bad. I was too young, we were too far away, long distance was too hard; all these things shouted no to anyone else but to us, there was no answer but yes. Our timing shouldn't have been great but it was. Since things lined up so perfectly for us to come into each other's lives, I can't ever believe that bad timing is the reason a relationship doesn't work out.

Your relationship doesn't fail because of bad timing, it fails because it wasn't the right relationship.

I'm In A Serious Relationship

A couple of months ago I wrote a post called "I want to be committed but not serious" in which I expressed my ideas on commitment vs seriousness in a relationship. I claimed I wanted to be committed but not serious because I was twenty years old and too young to be serious.

I did not want to make plans far in the future, spend my weekends gardening, think seriously about marriage, spend evenings thinking of baby names, etc. However, somehow I've gotten into a serious relationship without even realizing it. I'm now planning trips with my boyfriend months ahead, I'm growing a garden with him at my house, and I'm sure I want to marry him one day. We haven't talked about baby names but we have talked about how we want to be great parents one day.

When I wrote the post I know it came from being afraid. I loved him but I didn't know if we had a future together yet since he hadn't moved to my city yet. Things were still new and scary, the last thing I wanted was to be hurt so I tried to protect myself by claiming I didn't want to be "serious". After spending just a couple of months with him, my feelings have changed a lot. Now we have celebrated our one year anniversary together and I'm going to meet his parents in the winter, I'm not scared of whether or not we have a future. For right now I love him and I can't imagine a point in my life when I won't. I want to be a "boring" couple with him and do serious couple things because I am serious about him.