Lesson In Being Healthy

Since I'm trying to be a healthier person I've gotten into a habit of checking the nutritional information and ingredients for the things I eat. I've recently learnt an important lesson regarding that. It seems to be that sometimes companies try to trick you into thinking something is healthier than it really is by messing with the serving size. 

I have a weird love for instant ramen. I know it's horrible for me but it's really comforting to eat after getting home on a cold day. Because I'm trying to be healthy I tried to find the healthiest brand of instant ramen I could so I would feel less bad about eating it. I noticed that my favourite brand was quite high in fat and sodium so I switched to a different brand with a lower fat and sodium content. However after comparing the packages carefully, I noticed the trick. The new brand I was eating had a serving size of half a package whereas my favourite brand had a serving size of one whole package. So if I doubled the information for the new brand it was actually a lot worse for me than my favourite brand. I was both happy and upset by this. The new brand didn't taste as good so I was happy to be able to go back to my favourite brand but I was also upset by how the company had tricked me. I thought I was eating something that was better for me but it turned out to be worse for me. It's things like that which make me really upset because I hate it when people are manipulated for profit.

Either way I learnt the lesson that not everything is what it seems to be. If you want to read the nutritional information on packages, read it carefully or else you might make the same mistake I did.

I'm Over You

As pathetic as it is, it has taken me three years to get to this point. It seemed that during those years no matter how hard I tried, you always showed up. Mostly I heard about you through other's conversations but sometimes I used to run into you in the halls. I blame that for the fact that it took three years to have no romantic interest in you whatsoever. In my last post, I talked about running into you and I labeled you as my first love. Now just a couple of days later I've come to realize a fact, I don't know you anymore. You are no longer the sweet innocent fifteen-year-old boy who I shared my first kiss with. For a long time, I held onto the idea that you hadn't changed from that person but now I know you aren't him anymore. Just like I'm not the girl I was back then. Both of us have changed and grown up. I will always have pleasant feelings towards you since you were once a very important person to me but I no longer have any desire to be with you. I'm so relieved to finally have my feelings figured out since it caused me stress not understanding my feelings towards you. Now I realize that I get nervous around you in the same way I get nervous around old friends I lost touch with. You, like them, are a person I used to be close with and now that we aren't close it's awkward to see each other. I don't feel nervous around you because I like you, I feel nervous because you are my ex. It's as simple and easy to explain as that.

I'm over you.

I Didn't Want To See You

When my mom asks me to go with her to a movie usually I say no because I get embarrassed when I see people my age with their friends and I'm with my mom. But today, without thinking much, I said yes. The universe then decided to mess with me.

We were almost late to the movie so we were rushing to the theater. Outside I saw a small group of people who I recognized. I couldn't see his face since he was turned away from me but I knew who it was instantly. I was hoping if I didn't look at him it would turn out to be someone else. While waiting in line I was trying to be casual when I noticed my mom kept looking behind us, that's when I couldn't deny it was him anymore. From what I noticed there were four of them counting him, two of them were girls. I could play dumb and pretend he was just out with friends but I know it was a date. I didn't hear very much but from the sounds of it either he was being set up or he was setting up his friend. I was praying that he was there to see another movie. I was so freaked out by seeing him that I spilled the popcorn once we got into the theater. The four of them walked into the same movie as me and I had to sit there for two hours and pretend not to know. I couldn't focus on the movie because I was too busy calming myself down. Once the movie ended I left right away and didn't see him again.

Part of me kinda wished I had talked to him or at least known if he noticed me but I was too shocked seeing him there to do anything other than pretending he wasn't there. Before today I was 100% over him finally. The first thing I thought when he walked into the theater was, "I guess he was my first love." I didn't ever think I was in love with him but there must be a reason I can't get over him. I was completely fine and then I saw him and I couldn't control my emotions. It hurt so much having to sit in a theater with him while he was on a date with someone else. I will not make any move towards him as I just want to be over these feelings but I can't deny he was my first love anymore. So yeah the universe decided to torture me by making me see my ex-boyfriend on a date and then having to sit through a movie in the same room as him. I really wish things like this wouldn't happen, especially when I'm almost completely done with him.

I Worry For University Me

Today I decided it was time to grow up and finally do something on my own. Since I needed to go to my university to get my student card I decided I would get on the bus by myself for the first time to go get it. I was so worried about whether or not I would do things right. I was waiting at the bus stop and when I saw a bus coming I got on. I gave my ticket and did everything right until I realized the bus was going a weird way. Finally, I got the courage to ask the bus driver which bus it was and it was the wrong bus. I got off the bus, walked home, and defeatedly got my mom to drive me.

Turns out I'm very dependant on people and I'm unable to do things by myself. This sucks because I know no one at university so I'm probably going to be making mistakes all over the place. I have a feeling I'll do a lot of stupid things like walk into the wrong class, forget my books somewhere, and get lost all the time. Hopefully, I adjust quickly so I won't do anything too major to screw things up. I've always had a bad sense of direction and I tend to space out a lot which leads to me messing up. Let's hope everything goes well in three weeks, if it doesn't I'm sure I'll write about it.

The Difference a Haircut Can Make

I know it sounds really stupid but cutting my hair short had a big effect on me.

I haven't had short hair since the beginning of middle school and I always had the idea in my head that long hair was pretty and short hair wasn't. To me, short hair was only for children and since I thought I was sort of baby-faced I didn't want to look any younger than I already did. However, I also had an image in my head of university me and in that image, I always had short hair.

I first wanted to cut my hair short at the beginning of grade twelve. I had become really influenced towards short hair after watching a tv show with an actress who had beautiful short hair and seeing short haired models in pictures. I desperately wanted to cut my hair since my hair at the time was almost to the middle of my back. I felt like all my hair did was weigh me down but I also felt like I would regret it around prom time if I cut my hair short. Thus I decided to wait until after I graduated to cut my hair.

Now I've graduated and my hair goes slightly past my chin while being shorter in the back. I was asked when my hairdresser was about to cut my hair off if I would regret cutting it but I knew I wouldn't. Even after cutting my hair I never felt upset about having it short instead I felt extremely happy. I couldn't stop touching it or looking in the mirror or smiling. Ever since I cut my hair I feel like a big weight has been dropped. With short hair, I feel so much more happy and confident in myself.

I guess I feel like I'm finally making process in becoming who I want to be. Honestly, I've never liked my personality and I always felt I was too shut off and I hid too much from people. I've always said I was going to show more of my true self but I always kept hiding. Now I feel like I'm more ready to be a more honest me. I want people to see my happy self and to know the person I truly am inside. I know it's just a haircut but I feel like it could be the first step towards something great.

French

I'm in no way fluent in French. I took French from grade six to grade eleven and only really learned anything in the later years. I always got good marks until grade eleven when I suddenly forgot the entire language or something because I never knew what was going on in class. Anyway today one of my friends, who never took French, posted a tweet that said la vie este belle and it honestly bugged me so much but I didn't want to be one of those annoying people who corrects spelling all the time.
If you never took French est means is and doesn't have an e on the end. I really really wanted to correct her but I resolved to just write about it here and leave it alone. This is honestly the reason why I don't write down or like quotes from other languages because there's always the chance that what you thought was right was actually wrong. Like when people get Chinese tattoos and they think they are really poetic and beautiful and then someone who speaks the language tells them it actually is pure nonsense (see example A). I have a French quote in my room which is "m'aimer pour qui je suis" it translates to love me for who I am. I can explain exactly why it means what it means word for word but I'm not here to give you a French lesson so I'll spare you of that. Basically, there's nothing wrong with liking other languages even if you don't understand them or thinking words in other languages are pretty and wanting to share them, just make sure you get them correct.

Example A 

Something Finally Worked Out

I've been wanting a new desk for a while now but since it's expensive to buy them new, my mom agreed to buy me one if I found a used one. A lot of the ones I saw looked cheap and were no better than the tiny desk I currently had. I felt kinda annoyed by the whole thing until I came across the perfect desk, it was a cute white desk with drawers just like I wanted. The only problem was that it was $120 and my mom thought it was too expensive. Dejected I returned to my search only to see the exact same desk a couple of days later from a different seller for only $35. I was so happy I ran to my mom to show it to her and she agreed to buy it. I couldn't believe that I found the exact same desk for almost $100 cheaper! I felt so lucky that something like that happened to me and I was honestly in disbelief until I contacted the seller and found out it was indeed true.

Now I'm sitting in my room with a big smile on my face looking at my beautiful new desk. Something great also happened when I went to buy it. They had a matching bookcase that they were willing to sell for cheap if I bought it as a set. Since my bookcase always looked like it was about to collapse I thought why not and got the bookcase as well. The seller was a really nice couple who wished me good luck in my studies. They said that when their daughter used it she did really well in school and hoped for the same for me. I was touched by their kindness.

Also, there's something really nice about buying new furniture. It kinda felt like I was moving houses again. I'm a person who kinda likes moving because I like the fresh feeling and I like organizing new things. It was a lot of fun for me moving my old furniture out and putting the new stuff in. I also really enjoyed organizing my desk and bookcase. Overall it was a very good day :)