Learning a New Relationship Lesson

There are many lessons when it comes to being in a relationship that I have not yet learned. Recently, I've been having a mini freak out at the thought of my current boyfriend being my last boyfriend.

Obviously, I have no idea if he'll be the guy I end up with but so far it seems like it might end up that way. My boyfriend is incredible, he's literally everything I've ever wanted and more. We get along really well and have similar beliefs and opinions. So there have been thoughts that have crossed my mind along with, what if I have settled down already? What if I'm done with dating forever? I'll never be able to go out with any other guys. There are so many guys in the world, how will I deal with never being able to have a chance with them?

I already knew the answer to this problem before it even became a thing I thought about but I think I needed a reminder. I went out for my 20th birthday and since my boyfriend and I are long distance, he obviously couldn't come out with me. I went to a club and I literally did not care about any guy there. I kinda looked around and all I could think was "insert boyfriend's name here" is better. There were even guys that came up to me and my friend who were asking us to hang out with them or dance or whatever, and I just did not care. Going out just reminded me of how great I have it and how thankful I am to be with my boyfriend.

So if my boyfriend ends up being the last guy I ever date, I'll never have regrets about that. If he's the one I settle down with, great. If I'm done with dating forever, thank god. If I never get a chance with any other guys, that's probably for the best since none of them are better than my current boyfriend anyway. However, I know it's early both in my relationship and in my life so there's no guarantee I'll end up with my boyfriend but if I do, I will never be upset about my lack of experience with other people.

Having it all Together is Overrated

I am soon to turn 20 which sounds very adult. A lot of the time I worry that I'm too immature and I don't think seriously enough about my future.

I'm currently a university student studying biology. For the past two years, I assumed I would focus on the cell/molecular side of biology and end up doing lab work. In the last week, after telling my boyfriend about my life decisions that make no sense, I remembered that I dislike microbiology and that it's extremely similar to cell biology. So I've decided to change my focus to ecology and zoology.

The point of this is that I am nowhere near having my life together. I have no idea what I'll be doing in three years when I graduate university. I don't even know what I'll be doing in three months when I'm done with this semester. I decided not to work this summer or take classes because I've been going nonstop since I graduated high school and I'd like to take a break while it's still an option. Part of me wants to do some volunteer work like planting trees or getting rid of invasive plant species or taking care of animals, but another part of me just wants to lie around and go on dates with my boyfriend. I'm well aware that I can do both but I just haven't come to decision yet.

When I look at other people my age I'm kinda in awe because they seem so adult and I seem like a little kid. I wonder how they look so together and polished when I can't even be bothered to put in contacts.

I think it's great that they are doing their best and trying their hardest to live the best life possible but you shouldn't feel bad about yourself if you don't have your life together. The great thing about being in your 20s is that you aren't supposed to have it all figured out. It's the time in your life when you can be selfish and make mistakes. Yes having it all together is ideal but I think it's overrated. Making mistakes, doing stupid things, and messing up will teach you way more about who you are and want you want in life than being perfect ever will.