What I Used to Think Relationships Were

Before I fell in love I had an awful view of what relationships were like. In the beginning, things would be lovely. You and your partner would just connect. You'd be able to talk for hours. You would laugh all the time. Just being around them would make you happy. Over time things would start to become repetitive and boring. The things that were once funny aren't and suddenly the person who used to understand you doesn't. Nothing would have provoked this change, just time itself. Of course, fights would start happening and soon enough you'd break up.

I've been dating my boyfriend for eight months now, obviously not that long in the scope of life but pretty long for me (longest past relationship= two months). We still laugh until our faces hurt like we did in our first month of dating. We carry on completely random conversations that come out of nowhere, never running out of things to talk about. It's been eight months and I still like him just as much as when I first met him. We still don't fight and we still get along scarily well.

I've told my boyfriend what I thought relationships were and sometimes he'll bring it up and say things like, "It's been eight months, is our relationship boring yet?" and I'd, of course, say no. I can't even imagine a point in time where being with him will be boring or a time when he won't be able to make me laugh. Every day I'm with him I just fall in love all over again. I know that a lot of the time people grow apart in relationships or that small annoyances turn into big issues but I also know that sometimes people are happy together for long periods of time. I have yet to experience if a lasting love is real but at least now I feel like it's possible and that's a big step from thinking every relationship is doomed.

Baby Obsessed

For my entire life, there has only been one thing I've always been absolutely sure I wanted to do, have kids. It's never been a societal pressure thing or an expectation, I just really want to be a mom someday. It's great that some women don't want to have kids and want to focus on having a career or traveling but that's never been me. I mean if it were possible I'd love to be a housewife. I don't ever admit that I'd like being a housewife because I feel like people would look down on me for it. Like they would think I have no goals or aspirations and just want to live off my husband. I just really enjoy doing hobbies and cooking and organizing things so I feel like I'd be a good housewife. In reality, I'd probably just be a housewife while my kids are young and once they start school I'd either go back to work or, in an ideal world, work from home. Basically, I'm just a homebody. 

Anyway getting back to the original topic of wanting kids, I've been baby obsessed for as long as I can remember. I always loved babysitting because kids are so cute. I also want to find a part-time job at some point where I can be a camp leader or a daycare worker or something involving kids because I love them so much. The bad thing about being baby crazy is having to be realistic. I mean I really want to have a baby but I'm smart enough to know that doing that while I'm 20 and still in university is a terrible idea. I was just as baby crazy as I am now when I was 16 and again I had to remind myself that I was much too young because the thing about having a baby is that I want to do it right. I want to be in a loving marriage, with a place of my own, a career I enjoy, and savings to provide for the baby. I want to give my kids the absolute best life possible which is what I remind myself everytime I think, "It would be really fun to have a baby right now."